The Best Movies You've (Probably) Never Seen: Safe Men (1998)

Let me tell you a little story about one of the greatest under-the-radar comedies of the nineties, or . . . dare I . . . ever? Okay, well, actually I don't really have a little story, just the part about Safe Men being one of the best comedies ever. Period. For those who've know me since 2004, when my friend Robby first introduced me to this gem, I can't imagine there was a time they haven't heard me gab about it, but oddly enough, I'm the only one tooting my horn! Outside of Robby and crew, I have never met another film junkie or comedy fan that has even heard of Safe Men!

It's the story of two sets of best friends: one pair, the best safe robbers in the greater Baltimore area, the other an aspiring music duo I can only liken to tone deaf adolescents doing their best Belle and Sebastian meet Chad and Jeremy impression. The singers get randomly mixed up with Baltimore Jewish Mafia - Big Fat Bernie Gayle (Michael Lerner) and Leo (played by none other than Harvey Fierstein), perpetuated by a case of mistaken identity by Big Fat's "intern" Veal Chop ("the cccchopop" played by, can you believe it, Paul Giamatti!), who's really looking for the thieves. Singers robbing safes? Jewish mobsters? A hockey themed Bar Mitzvah to plan?

Still skeptical? What if I told you that the four main characters are played by really young, really funny Sam Rockwell, Mark Ruffalo, Steve Zahn, and Josh Pais (who just had some hysterical cameos in Synecdoche, New York and Teeth). These guys are so young - what an absolute treat! Need more convincing? How about cameos from (a a practically in diapers) Michael Showalter and Peter Dinklage?

"Friiiiiiiiieeeeeeennnndddddship . . . friendship" Eddie (Zahn) and Sam (Rockwell) performing at the

Polish Senior Center

Don't expect too many physical gags, though there are a few, because Safe Men is definitely a comedy of the intelligent-well executed-script variety and therefore gets funnier and funnier with each subsequent viewing. Oh I could list a gazillion lines right now because Safe Men was written and directed by Zoolander, Meet the Parents, and Meet the Fockers writer John Hamburg - before Hollywood really got to him.

Do your funny bone a favor and rent this movie!